Hey everyone, it’s that time of year again! So, while everyone’s getting into the Christmas spirit, here’s a few words since I haven’t written anything in a little while.
2015 is soon coming to a close (woah, already?) and I have to say that this year might have been the most memorable one yet- one, because my long-term memory is probably better than it was last year, and two, because (seeing as I graduated high school last May) this entire year has been geared towards self discovery for me, something I was unable to do during my two short years of school. Like many others, Chi (who was my uncle as well as the closest brother to my father) set an example of what kind of person I want to become, paving the way for some pretty crazy transformations of who I am.
One year ago, I couldn’t have told you who I was if you had asked me, because all I knew was that I wanted to be successful.
What did success look like for me? An excessively large house, a 300,000 dollar car, lots and lots of designer clothes, and high social status- when my grandmother told me that the less things I had the happier I would be, I brushed it off. What did she know, anyway? I’m sure it comes as no surprise to anyone that at the same time, I was riddled with anxiety and severe depression- I couldn’t eat, I was sleeping for hours on end, and the only thing I would get out of bed for was to do homework.
Then, I decided on a different approach, a different outlook on life. When I chose to take a year off between high school and college, I had all this free time that I wasn’t quite sure what to do with, and the more time I spent reflecting on myself and my impact on the world, and what it was I really wanted in life, the less and less tangible things seemed important to me. Little by little, I watched pieces of my being fall back together until I was whole again. I realized that money, while it is a necessary evil (as quoted from my aunt), does not hold any real value in life- all of these things that poison our judgment and distract us from being awake (and I mean really awake) are superficial and insignificant, because none of this is real, and the only thing that matters (the only thing that we will take with us after this life) is how we love, and who we loved.
This brings me to what I am here to say today.
Relationships, in my observation, are failing left and right (especially around this time of year), and it is not uncommon for me to be the person that my friends (or even those who are not my peers) come to when they need help. This is perhaps one of the most popular problems among those who seek my advice. I recently read an article titled “You Have to Choose Her Everyday (Or Leave Her)” and this was incredibly thought-provoking for me. (I’ll leave the link down below just in case any of you care to take a look.) There is a saying: “People were created to be loved. Things were created to be used. The reason why the world is in chaos is because things are being love and people are being used.” We, as a society, are placing the same superficial value on other human beings, other lives (each and every one just as complex as our own) that we do on materialistic things. And we are teaching this to our children, and they, in turn, are teaching it to their children- that people are nothing more than objects, here for our amusement and to do our bidding, that we are the only people who matter.
The progression of humans and human technology greater than it ever has been before, but the progression of humanity has long since stopped.
When we look at our loved ones, our family members, our significant others, we first see what is wrong with them. We see their flaws, their imperfections (as if we don’t have any ourselves.)
“He doesn’t make enough money for me.”
“He can’t give me what I want."
“He forgot to take the trash out!”
We nit-pick through all of these negative traits about one another instead of looking at the entire picture, the good /and/ the bad. Sure, he might not make a lot of money, but he’s doing what he loves, what’s he’s really passionate about. Have you ever looked someone in the eyes when they’re talking about what they’re really passionate about? He can’t give you what he wants, but he’s giving you everything he has, and everything you really /need,/ even if it means sacrificing some of his own necessities. And, yeah, he forgot to take the trash out today, but he’s only human- you can’t tell me you haven’t forgotten to do something you were supposed to, too. And, besides, is it /really/ worth arguing about?
On the flip-side, it is important to know your own worth, to see your own value (as well as everyone else’s.) Remember that saying- you have to love yourself before you can love someone else? It’s more than a cheesy quote. If you are suffering today because of something in your life that you can change, change it. It might be difficult, but look at how much happier you will be in the long run. If you are suffering because of somebody else, let it go. You are not worth what others cannot see, and those who are ignorant to the love that they have in the pursuit of something else, something fake and superficial, are the ones who will suffer in the end. (It’s the unfortunate disease of not realizing what you have until you lose it.) Remember, you are a part of the universe, and all of the universe is within you, so you are never really alone.
Learn to love others before you love your possessions, but first and foremost, learn to love yourself, so that you can be happy in your own company. Believe me, because I am speaking from the heart of experience- it is one of the most fulfilling journeys in the world.
So, yeah. Food for thought.
Link to article alluded to above: http://thoughtcatalog.com/bryan-reeves/2015/11/choose-her-everyday-or-leave-her/
Reflections of a Man on a Swing - Christina Rogers BUFC